Adoption is a Calling

http://celebritybabies.people.com/2012/05/24/jillian-michaels-adoption-is-a-calling/

 

I just wanted to share with you all this article by People magazine about adoption. Enjoy :). Let me know what you think!

The Easy Way...

It seems that people at times do not think before they speak and well that's just not helpful at all to anyone. I was talking to a woman while we were waiting in line to check out at the grocery store (as usual they had two lanes open and at least fifteen registers and about ten people in line) and she saw my wedding ring and asked how long I had been married. She asked if we had any children, I said not yet, but we are in the process of adopting. She smiled, "Oh that's wonderful." I smiled and nodded. Then she leaned forward, "Your smart taking the easy way, my two pregnancies were miserable." Again I smiled and nodded, though she didn't know I was biting my tongue and trying to think positive thoughts.

I realize I do not have any experience on the matter, but really?! According to Merriam Webster, easy is causing or involving little difficulty or discomfort. Adoption is not easy. Pregnancy is not easy for all, but that doesn't negate the first. I respect anyone who has gone through the experience of pregnancy, birthing, c-section, but I also genuinely respect others who have gone through the process of adoption. Adoption you are asked questions by a well-meaning person that you would only discuss with your spouse or closest friend. You have people come in and out of your home to determine if your home is safe for a child. You get looks from people as you walk through the baby store as they look at your tummy and you know nothing is there except evidence of too much sugar products. After all that you read a report about you and your spouse/partner that recommends you for adoption. Then you start searching for your child. In newborn adoptions that means you get vague profiles of individuals living their lives that has ultimately led them to deciding to put their child's future out of their hands and hope for something better, safer, healthier, and still loved. You give them your profile, and you wait. You leave your fate of building a family to these people and it becomes a competition with other people seeking to do the same. So when you aren't picked (it happens...a lot), you try so hard to be at the very least happy that they have found a family, that someone's dream has come true and you continue to wait.

Pregnancy is nine months for most and not easy. You grow your child in your womb. Adoption there is no timeline. Your baby may not have even been conceived. You wait and your love for your baby grows in your heart and it swells. And you wait. Adoption is not easy. Pregnancy is not easy. Bringing a family together is not easy. Because one is hard does not make the other easy.

This is what I should of said, but I was busy biting my tongue. 

Perfection

Well it is just 63 days till Liam's Due Date! How exciting, just a little over two months away. Keith and I are just in awe of our journey this far. This time last year we were trying to save and educate ourselves the best way we knew how, by asking questions, reading, and looking at different agencies. Our families and extended support group of loving friends seem just as anxious as we are. They ask how we are doing and if there is anything new. I just tell them no news is generally good news. There doesn't seem like there is much going on, but as we steadily get closer to the due date there will be more doctor visits and we hope more updates.

This morning as Keith ate his breakfast we stood in the kitchen just chatting, one of my favorite parts of the day, talking about random stuff and of course the talk always goes to Liam. I told Keith, "I feel like Liam knows me, like he knows you and I are waiting to come to him. I suppose that is just wishful thinking, but you never know." Keith just smiled an nodded. I still think he knows. I have reached a point where in my life I thought that I was fully in charge of everything, every decision, every action; but now I see that I've not been controlling anything. It's just to perfect of a journey. To many moments and choices lining up for me to have planned it all. I am good at planning things. But this...this is truly perfection. The ups and the downs have been a whirlwind of good lessons, hardships that have been needed, and so worthwhile. God is truly in control of my life and this journey, and even though that doubt, worry, or maybe it is my continence that keeps telling me there is always a possibility of things not working out. My heart keeps saying it's to perfect to not work out. I just have to trust God. Trust and pray diligently. I would and could never plan this journey, but I am so glad we are on it!

20/20 & Love

Well it has certainly been awhile since I have last wrote in here, for that my apologies. Keith and I are doing wonderfully and we are truly so excited for our Baby Boy to arrive. With that arrival approaching my anxiety is steadily rising proportionately. There are the ever worrisome health issues to be concerned about, the birthing process itself is scary enough, and not to mention my total lack of control over the entire matter that truly drives me bonkers. Keith being his ever patient and understanding self listens to my worries and anxieties as he tries to set me at ease with his logic and theological viewpoints on life. I truly know I could never go through this without him. He is my rock.

Just the other day my anxieties were getting to me (again), naturally just before our friends were due to come over, and Keith was on the road making his way home from work. I was a mess. You see, my mind works in several ways. One, I sadly inherited from a long line of worriers and thus anything and everything causes me great concern. Secondly, my mind is always wondering and inquiring into the unknown. And thirdly, I love to research. This is what I call my triangle of doom. I worry about something, so I question it and then I research it, which often times leads me to worry more and form more questions. Sometimes this a good thing, but like the other day I read and watched a video on CNN and that caused me some concern about our little baby and then I wondered and began Google-ing. This only lead to more questions with no real concrete evidence or answers, let alone positive outcomes. Now I realize you are sitting there saying tisk-tisk. I shouldn't worry.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  ~Matthew 6:34~

And you are so right. Keith quoted the same verse and I felt awful for worrying, but at the same time my logic comes into point out all the information that gives me grounds to worry (haha). So over the next few days my brain began to dissect through all the information I have uncovered. I kept thinking to myself that I have never been through this sort fear and anxiety and what on earth was I to do with all this information. You see our baby's birth mother is on a certain prescription drug since before conception and all the evidence says that there will be no lasting affects as far as delays, malformations, or any issues down the road. In fact our pediatrician said that if you were going to be on a prescription during pregnancy this was the one for you since there is no lasting effects. The problem is just after birth when some babies are born they are addicted to the drug that the Mother has been taking. The withdrawal process is the same as it would be for adults, painful, but without that thirst for the drug that an adult would have.

So naturally the idea of having to tend to a sick baby was getting to me.  Though the entire withdrawal process will, if at all, take place in the hospital. My concern lay in how I would handle it and how awful it would be for our baby. This was something I had never experienced and sadly hospitals are my least favorite place to be. So what did I do? I prayed for days. Then rather suddenly it occured to me (I love how God does that!). I have been here before. I was fifteen again in the school library research Alzheimer's Disease and discovering what was in store for my two loving and devoted grandparents. I had been stuck then as I was now. I had just two options. One, I could cry and avoid. Or two, I could be there, be whatever they needed and try to do anything I could to help. I chose then to be there, though I cried a lot over the matter, but I helped get them to take their pills, I talked with them and kept them calm, I eventually helped to feed them, and comb Grandpa's hair. I wonder then what the point of this whole experience was. I wondered why would God put them, my family, and myself through all of this madness.

At last, eleven years later, there was some purpose for me to have gone through that. I know now that I can't stop bad things from happening, I can't take the place of others, and I can't avoid bad things either. The only thing I can do is to face it head on, pray ceaselessly (mainly that God allows the bad things not to happen, but if it does to help our baby through it.), and finally when bad things do happen do my best to help, be there and love on them. As with anything God just wants us to Love each other.

"Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under ALL circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails..."

                     ~I Corinthians 13:7-8