The Easy Way...

It seems that people at times do not think before they speak and well that's just not helpful at all to anyone. I was talking to a woman while we were waiting in line to check out at the grocery store (as usual they had two lanes open and at least fifteen registers and about ten people in line) and she saw my wedding ring and asked how long I had been married. She asked if we had any children, I said not yet, but we are in the process of adopting. She smiled, "Oh that's wonderful." I smiled and nodded. Then she leaned forward, "Your smart taking the easy way, my two pregnancies were miserable." Again I smiled and nodded, though she didn't know I was biting my tongue and trying to think positive thoughts.

I realize I do not have any experience on the matter, but really?! According to Merriam Webster, easy is causing or involving little difficulty or discomfort. Adoption is not easy. Pregnancy is not easy for all, but that doesn't negate the first. I respect anyone who has gone through the experience of pregnancy, birthing, c-section, but I also genuinely respect others who have gone through the process of adoption. Adoption you are asked questions by a well-meaning person that you would only discuss with your spouse or closest friend. You have people come in and out of your home to determine if your home is safe for a child. You get looks from people as you walk through the baby store as they look at your tummy and you know nothing is there except evidence of too much sugar products. After all that you read a report about you and your spouse/partner that recommends you for adoption. Then you start searching for your child. In newborn adoptions that means you get vague profiles of individuals living their lives that has ultimately led them to deciding to put their child's future out of their hands and hope for something better, safer, healthier, and still loved. You give them your profile, and you wait. You leave your fate of building a family to these people and it becomes a competition with other people seeking to do the same. So when you aren't picked (it happens...a lot), you try so hard to be at the very least happy that they have found a family, that someone's dream has come true and you continue to wait.

Pregnancy is nine months for most and not easy. You grow your child in your womb. Adoption there is no timeline. Your baby may not have even been conceived. You wait and your love for your baby grows in your heart and it swells. And you wait. Adoption is not easy. Pregnancy is not easy. Bringing a family together is not easy. Because one is hard does not make the other easy.

This is what I should of said, but I was busy biting my tongue.