Mirrors

Most people are mirrors, reflecting the moods and emotions of the times. Some people are windows, bringing light to bear on the dark corners where troubles fester. The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. 

~Sydney J. Harris

When I think about our future children the first reaction that comes to me is too smile. I feel that any child someone has in life, whether it was planned or not, is a blessing. Keith and I understand that not everyone is going to feel as blessed and thankful all the time. Oh, I am sure we will have our moments when we are feeling less that utterly blessed. Like when we are on the fourth change of clothes on our infant, or the tantrum from a terrible two, or the actions they take when they are teenagers. I wonder if in that moment we will be able to step back and just smile at the situation unfolding around us.

One of my pet peeves is when people really complain and curse about their children. I sincerely cannot stand to hear it. Like any couple that has known the struggle to have children, you realize how very lucky those people are to have those complaints in the first place. No one ever said it would be easy, but if you accept the reigns to parent this child, then I think you should do so with pride and perseverance. If you are talking about them, they do hear you and if they are old enough to understand that can be infinitely damaging to their feeling of self-worth and the relationship between you and them changes.

Working with my class at the daycare I learned many lessons, but this one stuck out like a sore thumb. Children are like mirrors, they reflect what they see, hear, and feel. If they see you react or do something, they repeat it. If they hear you say something, they repeat it, and if they are made to feel something good or bad, they will do the same to others or right back at you. If you lift your kids up in praise and love, and if you say kind words, or make them feel good and loved; they will do the same to you and others. Now I am not saying that you should always praise your kids, but teaching or "discipline" does not always mean being negative or hurtful. I think if I can keep a classroom of 18 kids in order in the classroom and on field trips without being condescending or resorting to spanking, I know I can do so with my own children.  Yes, it takes a lot more time, to stop what you are doing make the other children (if you are out) sit down to wait, and pull the other one to the side and explain what they did wrong and why they should not do or say something, or whatever the case is. It is not as immediate, but I think the time is worth it, because it is lasting. When a child understands they will try to not do it again.



Keith is always saying that we should try our best in everything we do. I do not always do my best and so I do not expect our children to always be good and to not be kids. With that said, I am an adult and my children cannot suffer for me to act or respond childishly, that is not my best. I feel it is our job as the parent to always try and instill the lessons of life we have learned and to help them become good contributors in life. Every parent is a teacher, if you show them love they will want to show you and others love back.

^"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.⁸ Love never fails."

~I Corinthians 13:4-8

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "We must be the change we want to see in the world." If you want your children to be good and kind, you then must be good and kind. I understand that a lot of kids are more disgruntle than others, but that doesn't mean you should give up. If I had a child that was particularly difficult, then I would try my best, do what I could, if that didn't work then I would look for help else where, with books, seek advice from others, and get them whatever they needed. Why? Because, I know our children deserve our very best.

"Never, never, never give up!" 

~Winston Churchill