Never Change Anything that Makes You this Happy

It does not seem very long at all really, but still, when I think back five years ago to the end of June and beginning of July 2012 I can remember the anxiety, stress, trials, and hope that both Keith and I had. We were so very nervous, anxious, and desperate to get to the middle of July; little did I know that the greatest trials of my life were still ahead of me.

Never Change anything that Makes You this Happy!

Still, the end of June brought its own struggles. Keith and I had bought a house in the neighborhood my Dad had grown up in and loved it. The house was gorgeous, and we truly loved it there; but it was aging, and it still had its original furnace, which meant it was at least 50 years old. It was truly a monster. Well on a sweltering day at the end of June we arrived home to find the house stifling and no air conditioning. We opened the windows and turned all the fans on. The next day we had a repair guy out, praying that it would be a simple and more importantly cheap fix, but to our disappointment, it was not. The furnace was simply too out of date to now tie into a replacement air conditioning unit that was now necessary. Thus the whole system would have to be replaced.
We had three guys out to give estimates, but the problem wasn't in the difference of product, it was the sheer cost, $5,000 for a new system. All of our money was sitting in our savings ready to utilize when we got to Florida to pick up Liam and bring him home; so our only alternative was to finance the new unit. We both felt that leaving it to later would be a bad idea given that we'd be bringing home a newborn and my asthma; so finance we did.

We were both worried sick about the whole thing and prayed for God to show us the way. In the end, we financed the system and finally got some cold air back in the house. The moral of this story for us, as we always try to look on the brighter side, is that while this period was such a tumultuous time we faced it as Keith and I always do, together. We trusted God, and we tried desperately to make the best long-term decision.

Sometimes it does not always work out, but if you just stay the course and try not to sweat the small details, you will come through it. It took us awhile to pay it off, but in the end, we had the money necessary to bring our boy home and at the end of the day that was the only option we were hoping for. Sometimes there are obstacles you would rather not tackle, but sometimes you simply do not have the choice. Be strong and keep praying. You'll get there!

An Adoption Journey: When Three Becomes Four: A Time for Change & Hope

An Adoption Journey: When Three Becomes Four: A Time for Change & Hope: Well, as most of you may have noticed, we have changed over from Wordpress to Blogger, simply because my other blog is hosted over here and ...

A Time for Change & Hope

Well, as most of you may have noticed, we have changed over from Wordpress to Blogger, simply because my other blog is hosted over here and I thought it would be easier to have them in the same place.

This weekend has been fantastic thus far. Yesterday, Keith and I had a date day, Grammy and Grandpa watched Liam, and we went and saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, it was okay, but not really what I was expecting. Later we just hung out at home and played. Today I headed down south with my parents to where my Grandparents and Grandma's side of the family are buried off the beaten track in Southern Ohio; ironically very close to where Keith grew up. It was a gorgeous day, the cemetery where they are buried is in a beautiful valley just a few miles from where my Grandma grew up. I don't know why, but it was unusually emotional today. I think because of my Mom's mom, Gram, passed away last fall, and it just dawned on me all my Grandparents have passed from this world. It seems like such a finality sometimes when one generation departs from us and the unknown seems a bit daunting without them.

Growing up we were always surrounded by family. My Dad's parents were especially around all of the time. Every Friday we went out to eat with Grandma and Grandpa before heading back to their house to listen to stories about the good-ole-days, eat ice cream, play in the backyard, pop popcorn, or pick our favorite cookies out of the cookie jar and my favorite, watch Grandpa sip his searingly hot coffee out of a steaming cup. There was always the joy that just seemed permanent on Grandma and Grandpa's faces when we were around them. On Friday nights my sister and I learned that it was best to ask just before we were leaving for one more story or to pop some popcorn, or the exciting question of "Can we spend the night." We never wanted to leave Grandpa and Grandma's house. It was not just the smell, the wondrous stories of times gone by, but the immense pleasure and love that we felt in those walls. Oh, we felt them at home too, but it was special with Grandma and Grandpa. How Grandma would fluff the pillows, brush our hair, and tuck us in with a prayer, how Grandpa would walk around with his PJ top unbuttoned and Grandma yelling at him to cover up, or how in the morning Grandma would make us oats, which sounded gross at the time, but ended up melting in your mouth.

I hope my children and nieces and nephews know that joy, that feeling of permanency and the connection to the past you feel with your family and heredity.

Stress + God = Calm

The past week or more has been a bit hectic, but after some time talking with God I feel a lot better. As most of you know, Keith, my husband, is my rock and he never seems to be worried or stressed about things that pop up. I, on the other hand, am a meticulous planner; I have this intense desire to know exactly how things are going to go and how to handle them. Keith is my polar opposite. Keith takes everything in his stride; he's not carefree or unbothered by trials; he just simply trusts God to see us through, and for that reason, he does not need to worry. I am striving to be more like that, but the struggle is real.

As most of you know, Keith works in IT and thus tends to work contractual work for different companies. The last one he worked at went for six years, this one not quite as long, but now they have decided not to renew his contract, and amongst all of our plans, it puts our future and the adoption slightly on hold. For me, this initially stressed me out. I hate "what if's" and I do not do well without having a clear picture. But I have found some solace through prayer and realized that Keith was ready to move on anyhow and this could be an opportunity hidden in disguise.

The past few weeks I have been so focused on the adoption, getting Liam ready for Kindergarten, and shaping up our finances, that I honestly put God on the back burner. Our hope to Adopt is still as great as ever, and I just know we will get there, but I thought this is an important moment to discuss the elephant in the room when it comes to adoption: Money! Money is never something easy to talk about at any time. Most families that begin their families never have to discuss the enormity of the financial obligations that Adoption brings with it. Our first Adoption Journey began by saving as much as we could, and we had around $12,000 in our savings. We were a young married couple with Keith's brother paying us to rent to live with us; we had a much smaller house, no car payment, cell phone bill was less than $60 a month, life was pretty easy in that aspect. So when we got down to the wire, and we were still short to make our adoption payments we did not hesitate to take out an adoption loan. We took out $15,000 and used every penny to pay the greedy lawyers their money, and we are nearly done paying it off now.

Let me be clear; we do not regret doing this what so ever. In a domestic newborn adoption, the scenario is very different and the timing was in our case quite perfect. However, going into this adoption of our Daughter our responsibilities have changed drastically. This time we have a little boy, and he comes first in everything we do. We have the obligation and the love that dictates that we have to think of him first. While we already know the love and draw of that love to our daughter (wherever she might be) is very real, but we have to ensure that Liam is taken care of and protected against whatever might come along and that includes finances, as many of you know raising a child is expensive.

We have decided on the country we feel God is leading us to, but we are trying to sort out what agency to go with. Thus we have been communicating between the two we are working to decide upon. This week one of the agencies called to check-in on our progress and discussed certain things, as well as encourage us to get started as soon as we can. The lady was very helpful, and I truly believe she meant well. I explained to her how Liam's adoption went and how we learned lessons from that first journey, and our sincere desire to move forward towards finding our daughter as quickly as possible. Her reply was sweet and hopeful but in my opinion a little irresponsible. Let me just say that everyone's journey is different and it depends honestly on your heart and how God is leading you, but for us, this is our choice. Her response is that she truly believes that we should move forward now because she believes God will provide.

I agree somewhat with that statement, but again it is a personal decision. We need to make the right one for ourselves. In our first Journey God demonstrated to us time and again that it was never in our timing, but in God's time. We want to find our daughter today, but we can't do that right now. The realities of the money, the process, and in general our family's readiness are huge factors in the process of adoption. I know that if you Pray God will provide, but it is not always so cut in the clear. Our parents have always demonstrated that God will provide, but that God also expects us to work hard for what we want or need. Sometimes God simply drops things in our laps, but God also understands the enormous lesson and feeling of accomplishment Humans get from working hard to acquire what we want. So if suddenly someone dropped $20,000 in my lap, we would begin the process the same day. But, I don't have any rich friends. So, we need to work up to that point.

This week really I leaned on God to help me see our future and what he has in store. God reminded me that I have just to trust him, as Keith does, to take care of us and that things will eventually work out. We just have to hang in there and be patient. Not the easiest task, but doable. In the meantime, we'll keep working hard and doing our best to lean on God. Please keep us in your prayers.

Please let us know if you have any questions or if you'd like to discuss your journey.

Praying and Budgeting

I love how just when you feel like things are too difficult, you pray and suddenly things begin to fall into place.

The entire process of adoption is a marathon, not a sprint. We learned that the first time, though looking back it was not that long at all. From application to meeting our little guy was just a year and one week. However, we also had to take out a $15,000 adoption Loan, which we are nearly done paying off now. So, this time Keith and I are very mindful of the monetary side of adoption. We are so focused on getting to her, but we have to think also about the financial strain that causes problems later. Being a parent (#adulting) is difficult. We just want to take a loan out and hop on a plane, but we can't do that. We need to make sure that financially we are secure enough to keep the house steady once she gets home. So right now we are focusing on saving up that money.

Besides the money, we've been talking more with our little boy Liam about his sister,
what to expect and how to be a big brother. He sometimes gets overwhelmed, so we try to make it always positive and ways he can do something about it. He is so excited it tickles me. The other day Keith and I were discussing the cost and different ways we can save by getting rid of something or cutting back. Liam comes over to me and says, "Here, you can have this for my sister." He then hands me a handful of change. I just cried. Liam is just the sweetest little boy. I am so blessed! He also wants to know how we are going to decorate the room. I told him we were going to wait till it got closer so we'd have a better idea of how old she is and stuff. Liam said, "We should paint her room pink. Most girls like pink." This boy, I'm telling you he lifts me up every day.

Thank you for reading our blog. Please share and comment. We love to hear from you all. Please keep us and our little one in your prayers, as well as all the orphans out there, waiting and hoping for their forever families.

God Bless!

Hope

It feels as if we have been on our journey forever. I never really gave up hope that we'd return to this page in our life and write a new story, and now we are back at it trying our best and trusting God to lead us.

Liam will turn 5 in July, and that just amazes me. He is everything we hoped for and so much more. He tests us daily, he is a natural comedian, and the laughter he creates in our house and family does not end. If we aren't running around the house with nerf guns or light sabers, then we are off exploring some corner of the park near our house. He keeps us busy, guessing, and he is the most challenging yet rewarding aspect of our lives.

Recently my little brother and sister-in-law had their first child a little girl, and Liam just adores her. We spend most Sunday afternoons with my side, and Liam is beyond excited to go see "his baby." Then for the rest of the week, he continues to tell us how much he wants a baby. I think I am equally excited to one have a daughter, but also to see my little boy become a big brother.

Keith and I keep talking about it and planning. Saving a few dollars here and another there. It's a big cost, but God has been putting it on both our hearts, and we've been praying about it. It might take a little longer than we'd like. But if we learned anything with Liam's adoption it is that it's not our timing, but God's.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  ~Isaiah 40:31~

 

Our first fundraiser if you can help, if not please share and pray for us! Thank you!

T-Shirt for Hope

Time vs. Logic

When some people begin their families, they worry so much about the "perfect time." Adoption is no different; only there is another part of the puzzle, finding the money to facilitate the legal aspect of adoption. Now would be a great time to add a child to our little family, we have the space, the love, and the desire, but the funds simply aren't there, and I'm not ready to leave Liam to work full time. We feel exceptionally blessed that we even have the option for one of us to stay home, and I want to be with him as much as possible. When we're ready we'll be ready, but sadly now just isn't the time. It's hard to admit that, but I know being at home with Liam is more important. I'm working on my graduate degree during naps and some evenings, but Keith and I like that I am here for Liam.

We have had a lot of ups and downs this year. This spring we were so ready to begin the process, and we thought that was where were heading, but now we are realizing, again, that it is in God's timing not ours. We won't ever fully understand the gravity of our timetables, but God has a plan and I know there is another little one that will join our family. Perhaps the hardest part is watching others gain new additions to their family, but something I know to be very true is that each life is such a blessing. Liam coming into our lives and making us a family completed us in ways I still can't even comprehend. I just keep reminding myself that I need to be thankful for what I have and that there is a reason for everything. Plus, it is rather nice to hold a baby for a little while and then give them back when they are upset or make a mess in their drawers.

Our current project right now is potty training. Liam is a bit stubborn in that department, but he is trying his best. I just think he really doesn't think about it when he has to go. After all, he has been doing the same thing for three years. Hopefully by the end of the summer he can graduate to underpants.

Thanks for following us and please continue to pray for all those children in our world waiting for families and families waiting for them.